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We’ve all heard the phrase ‘time heals all wounds’ but how can that be true? Will a wilting plant recover if left unwatered? Will a broken leg reset if left untouched? Will someone grieving ever recover if they shut them self off from life?
I had a client whose son had passed several years ago, yet she often found herself feeling as if he had died yesterday.
When we worked together I learned that she left his room untouched and his things in the same place they were when he died. Never changing anything with that space, locking it away in time.
Do we heal without change?
If time has passed by, but nothing has changed, does healing occur?
If its not time that heals wounds, then what does?
Change does.
New choices, new energy, new life does.
What wounds do you still carry, tucked away in that locked room—untouched and unaffected?
A room you return to now and then (or after an event stirs the memory), hoping it will have changed—yet it remains exactly as it was, as if no time has passed at all.
Its important to understand that although our conscious mind can observe time move by our unconscious mind does not. To the unconscious, time is not measured in years but in events. That means an event that occurred 1 day ago or 50 years ago appears the same to the unconscious. It remains unchanged until new choices and energy replace and transform that event in the unconscious mind to create healing.
To put it another way, it is akin to a new computer. On the very first day you create and save a document. Years later, when you open it again, it will be exactly the same—unchanged—unless at some point you edited it and saved it in a new form.
Now it is not good, bad, right or wrong to leave a memory unchanged, there is no judgement, but it simply does allow for new life, it simply means healing does not occur.
I’ve worked with many individuals who do not even realize they have a room locked away in their unconscious mind, left untouched, unhealed. But they think because it happened so long it must be different, it must have healed itself.
The only changed that has occurred is it has gathered more dust (hopefully not mold where it infects the other rooms).
They have kept the room the same, they kept the wound the same, they never made the changes needed to move on.
To heal requires new energy, new choices. It means going into that room unlocking the door and then dusting, painting the walls, rearranging the furniture (or buying new furniture).
It does not meaning going into a dusty old room, looking around and then locking the door again. Perhaps expecting it will somehow be different when you visit it again next time
What dusty old room do you need to unlock and start cleaning?
It will not change with time, but it can change if you choose to give it new life.
As a Counselor and Tai Yi Practitioner Nick has over 10 years of experience addressing mental health and emotional well-being using holistic modalities.
Only 1 of 40 Tai Yi practitioners in the world his approach is unique, holistic and powerful.